Pedos de Cerdo
by Professor03
Summary: A young boy has gone missing on Mars. The Starship Rangers get assigned to the case and Taz isn't too impressed.
1. Look's Like You're Going to Mars!

**Here is my second fan fic. I hope you like it! Read and review, please! :D The Spanish translations for Taz are at the bottom.**

* * *

><p>"¿Qué está pasando?" Taz muttered as a familiar name pulled her from her sleep. "Taz! Get up!" February had managed to find Taz's room, lay out some clothes, and was now in the process of waking her up. Taz pushed herself into a sitting position and saw February stifling a giggle.<p>

"What do jou want?"

"Commander Up says we have to be in Room 189 for an important meeting," February answered as she handed Taz her uniform.

A few moments later, Specs entered the room and was greeted by the sound of Taz yelling at February.

"No, jou cannot do my hair! What is wrong with it?" February scrunched up her nose and was about to answer when she saw Taz reach for her zapper and thought better of it.

"Hey, guys," Specs said as she pushed her glasses up her nose. "You almost ready?"

"Yeah, yeah, give me a minute" came the annoyed response from Taz.

Specs and February waited for Taz to finish getting ready - which took longer than both of them expected.

The three girls walked to Room 189 where Up, Krayonder, Bug, Tootsie, and Mega-Girl were already waiting. They all sat down around a large table and looked at a woman none of them had seen before. She was wearing a business suit on and had a stern look on her face.

"My name is Rachel Owens. I am the Head of Missing Persons Bureau at the Galactic League." Even Tootsie had some idea what was going on. He reached for Mega-Girls' hand. "I'm here to assign the eight of you to a very special case." She slid an empty looking folder across the table to Up. He opened it to find only two pieces of paper. There was a picture. It was of a boy, thirteen years old, maybe? He had very blonde hair and a scowl on his face. He had a very girlish face and Taz made a point of commenting on this. The other paper had only a few words scrawled across in messy handwriting. He looked at Rachel and she nodded. He read, "Please, find my son. He old me he was leaving but he never came back. His name is Draco Malfoy."

"What the heck kind of name is that?" Taz asked.

"We have his father here to talk to you about it. His mother couldn't come. I'm asking that only Commander Up and Taz go." She then looked very pointedly at Taz, "Please show some respect," with that she left.

"Give me that," Taz said as she ripped the folder out of Taz's hands.

"I don't know about this, man. Why are we getting assigned this?" Krayonder looked to Specs for an answer. She only shook her head. Rachel came back to get the others and brought a tall man with long blonde hair. He leapt across the room to his seat and did a twirled before sitting down.

"What the…" Taz looked at Up.

"Taz, relax."

"Hello. My name is Lucius Malfoy. I understand that you are the people who will be looking for my…son." He accompanied the last word with a look of disdain.

"Why, yes we are. I am Commander Up and this Taz. Can we ask you some question about, uh," he looked back at the folder, "Draco."

Before waiting for an answer Taz started in. "Why on Earth did jou name him Draco? ¿En serio?"

Surprisingly, Lucius calmly replied that it was his wife's idea.

Up proceeded, "Can you tell us anything about why your son would leave or where he would go?"

"Oh yes," Lucius drawled. "He was always on about some school. What was it called? Pigfarts! That's it! He was,"

Taz interrupted. "Pigfarts are jou serious? Pigfarts?"

The interview went downhill from there. After each comment Taz made, Lucius grew more and more aggravated. She blew the whole thing, though when Lucius said that he though that Draco built a rocket ship and went to Mars.

"Me voy de esta gran bailarina sola. Vamos a ir, Up." Up having been around Taz long enough could translate enough to get something out of her Spanish. She had something along the lines of "I'm leaving this big ballerina alone. Come on, Up." She stood up and walked out of the room.

"Feisty, one huh? Is she your girlfriend?" Lucius didn't know that he had hit a nerve until Up, too walked out of the room. Even though there was no one watching he did a rather impressive leap out of the room.

Taz was talking under her breath in Spanish when she walked into Rachel in the corridors headed back to her room.

"So, how'd the meeting go?"

Taz had to glance up at Rachel to look into her eyes. "That estúpido idiota told us his kid built a rocket ship. A ROCKET SHIP! And went to Mars looking for a school called Pigfarts."

Rachel looked at the small Mexican in front of her and shook her head. "Look's like you're going to Mars."

* * *

><p><strong>Pedos de Cerdo ~ Pigfarts<br>****"¿Qué está pasando?" ~ What's happening?  
><strong>**"¿En serio?" ~ Seriously?  
><strong>**"Me voy de esta gran bailarina sola. Vamos a ir, Up." ~ I'm leaving this ballerina alone. Let's go Up.  
><strong>**"estúpido idiota" ~ Stupid idiot**

**Sorry if they aren't right. I used Goggle Translate.**


	2. Gotta Get Back Up

**Alrighty, here's chapter two! I forgot to thank my wonderfully amazing beta in my last chapter! So, thank you, thank you, thank you to Secret Slytherin! She's written some pretty good stuff!**  
><strong>Anyways, I hope you like it and please review! :D<strong>

* * *

><p>Taz started laughing, not a happy laugh, a crazy psychotic laugh. She looked at Rachel.<p>

"I'm not going to Mars to look for some fake school and some little fugitivo." She pushed past Rachel and heard words come floating past her ear.

"That's an order!"

"Ha! Al igual que me importa!"

"Ms. Owens, I think we got some very helpful information. I've just finished writing a report and if you could get back to me as soon as possible I think we could find Draco," Commander Up said as he approached Rachel in the main room of their base. He was very pleased with himself, despite the way their meeting with Lucius ended.

"Commander, are you aware of what your little friend Taz told me? I've already got a crew prepping a ship for you. Here's is an outline of your mission." She handed him a single piece of paper. The top paper looked like this:

_~Mission Name: Pigfarts, Pigfarts Here I come!_

_~Crew: Commander Up, Lieutenant Commander Taz, Mega-Girl, Lieutenants Tootsie-Mega-Girl, Krayonder, Specs, February, and Bug_

_~Mission: Locate Pigfarts and return with Draco Malfoy in your custody._

_~Notes: Please ensure that Lieutenant Commander Taz reads this. I hope she likes the Mission Name._

_ Hugs and Butterfly kisses,_

_ Your Boss, Rachel Owens_

Taz looked up from the paper to the man who was her best friend. "That-" and she continued with every Spanish and English swear she knew.

"Calm down, there, Taz. You are a Starship Ranger and we help people. We'll go on the mission and-" But Up didn't get a chance to finish.

"Up, do jou really t'ink dat there is a school on Mars?" Her accent was so thick he could barely understand her. She started walking towards the cafeteria. Another voice joined the conversation.

"Whoa man! Taz, you need to chill." If looks could kill, Krayonder would've died on the spot.

"Technically speaking, we should be able to tell if there is any life on Mars before we even land. If there isn't anything on the surface, we can just come back home, Specs added."

This cheered up Taz slightly but her mood was dampened by February. "Ew! I bet this will be like when I met Bug. There's going to be a bunch of gross aliens."

"For once in jour lives, would jou shut up?" Taz was being followed by her friends. They were trying to make her feel better, but it wasn't working.

Bug spoke, "We can go look around and February, there aren't any "gross aliens" on Mars. As the ambassador for my home planet, I would've met them." Taz and February stopped to look at Bug. He just stood there and nodded. Taz continued walking.

"Aw shucks! I bet even if there were aliens Mega-Girl would save us. Right, Mega-Girl?" He looked at his wife with the biggest grin on his face. She looked at Tootsie and said in her robotic voice, "Affirmative."

After the group ate lunch and went to their rooms, they heard over the intercom: _"The team assigned to 'Pigfarts, Pigfarts Here I Come' needs report to the loading bay."_ The Starship Rangers followed the order in silence, and a rrived at the bay with their things where they met Rachel. She directed them to their ship, _The Vid Roja_. They went over all the procedures and soon they were counting down until take off. They were launched into space and I wasn't long until they could see Mars.

"According to my spectrometer, there is life down there," Specs said. Everybody looked at Bug.

"Well, um…" February cut him off with a very high-pitched shriek.

"I bet they're gross and slimy and, and, and-" Taz reached for the knife she kept on her belt.

"Shut jour mouth, or I will shut it for jou."

Up landed _The Vid Roja_ and every put on their space suits except Mega-Girl. "Since I do not need oxygen like you humans, I do not need a space suit."

February walked up to her and said "No, Mega-Girl. You said it wrong. It's pronounced 'oxy-gen.'" She seemed very proud of herself as Taz checked to make sure she had put her suit on the right way. They left the ship and ambled as a group. Taz was walking besides Specs when she tripped over a rock and landed flat on her bum. Instead of helping her, Up started singing.

" You gotta get up, gotta get back up!"

Taz got up and walked over to Up and punched him with all the strength she could muster. She shot him one of those looks and kept walking.

* * *

><p><strong>"Al igual que me importa!"~ Like I care!<br>****Vid Roja is Red Vine in Spanish. **

**Thanks for reading!  
>Professor03 <strong>


End file.
